With little ability to concentrate on a movie due to an excessive backlog of paying work, our 12 Days of Christmas Movies begins with whatever crap I can find on Netflix. The pickings are slim, probably so you’ll feel compelled to run out and buy your favorite films on Blu-ray or DVD, thus feeding the for-profit beast that Hollywood sends out to devour moviegoers every season.
If you’re tired of the rich, white families on the Hallmark Channel who inexplicably learn the value of Christmas despite their obsession with material possessions, turn to Netflix and watch The Christmas Bunny. It features white people who are down on their luck. So, it’s a little different.
Anyway, we begin with a young couple adopting a problematic daughter, Julia, whose introduction to the audience features her punching a baby doll in the face. Eventually she finds an injured bunny (Rumple) in the woods, and the true melodrama begins.
As you probably guessed, Julia can only properly communicate with her new rabbit friend. Her new parents have trouble bonding with her, but thankfully the adorable image of a child hugging a fluffy bunny is all a group of strangers need to come together as a “forever family”.
Featuring Florence Henderson of Brady Bunch fame as some crazy Bunny Lady who lives in the boonies, there’s all the cute, touching magic you need to fill the dark void in your heart.
Or, maybe you’ll give as little shit about the film as Netflix does, judging by the description on their website:
In the end, it’s all a matter of what you can stomach. The Christmas Bunny is cliché-ridden holiday film that families who fear exposing their children to any sort of legitimate conflict will probably enjoy. But, despite my love for bunnies, I’ll never watch the damn movie again. I barely watched it once.